Hate selling? Think it stinks? Find out what’s really going on [part 1]

Love or hate selling?

Selling and why it stinks by Jane FranklandHere’s the truth. There are TOO many people who think they don’t like sales or even hate selling. They think it’s icky and sleazy, and regularly come out with statements like “I don’t like asking for the money.”

Sound familiar?

Now until recently I used to think that if I can just teach these people that sales is a caring profession – it’s about helping people (by solving problems or matching needs to wants), and then show them how to sell, all will be fine.

How wrong was I?

You see so many people don’t actually have a problem with sales or selling.  So many people don’t actually hate selling. The problem they have is actually their relationship with money. And it gets worse. It’s usually deep rooted.

Now here’s a strange thing.  You can do very well in sales and still have this problem! However, here’s the sting…If you don’t address this, no matter how much money you make or how many times money comes into your life,  you’ll LOSE it.

I speak from experience…

Here’s my story [I’ll keep it brief]

Once upon a time I was a designer. I loved my work with a passion. I’d been nominated as a Young British Designer, had an agent and was selling my work globally to Hong Kong, Tokyo, LA, New York, Paris and London.

Sounds a bit glam doesn’t it?

Sadly it wasn’t. I was eating my son’s left over scraps, unable to pay the utility bills and I was making next to nothing.


So I struck a deal with the universe when someone advised me to go and get a ‘proper’ job!

I said, “I’ll give up my passion if in return you reward me with lots of money.” And, that’s exactly what happened. I retrained, got head-hunted for a corporate job with great prospects, and then left it to to build a 7-figure business (with the man whom I thought was my soul mate).

The universe was serving me well.

Or was it?

Cue the roller coaster of life! It was early 2002 and the dot com bubble burst was in full flow. My business partner and I were caught out. We’d had the business for 5 years and were faced with a choice – to liquidate or to recover. We chose the latter and then worked like there was no tomorrow. We remodelled the company almost overnight and 2 years later it was more profitable than it had ever been. We’d had a close shave but this was not the worst that was to come (for me).

Several years later my partner called time on our relationship and then decided he wanted the company all for himself. [Muhaha!] I was forced out of my own company in ways that I won’t disclose. All I’ll say is it was unpleasant!

And this is where the moral of the story kicks in.

Surprisingly it’s not on choosing your business partner! That’s definitely a subject for another post! 😉

The moral of the story is always to do what you love. Don’t chase the dollar. Find a way to make it work. Then you will do great work.

So now for some key points on getting over the mantra of so many entrepreneurs and start-ups: “I hate selling” [but I like making sales!]

By the way I’m only going to concentrate here on your relationship to money (not self worth or rejection issues, which might also be going on.)

The first point I want to make is that when it comes to money you are the economist of you, so you need to decide what you want money for. Do you want it for ‘stuff’ to own or for ‘stuff’ to experience, or both? There’s no right or wrong answer here. It’s a personal choice. However, once you get clear on the purpose for your money you have a rudder to guide your purchases, savings, investments and donations. And you get motivated!

A word of caution. You can only get clear on your purpose for money when you get clear on your desired life. And, your desired life is driven by the way you want to feel.

In my case I wanted to feel happy. I knew that being a designer would fulfil this. However, I knew that I couldn’t make enough money to support my family as a designer. [I’d tried.] As a result, I chose to find a 6-figure job and build a 7-figure business. The purpose for my money became financial stability.

So if money enables so many of our wants to be manifested, get clear on the purpose, and…

[box]”Let the money follow the thinking but let the thinking follow the feeling” ~ Jane Frankland TWEET THIS[/box]

The second point I want to make is that “money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish but it will not replace you as the driver.” – Ayn Rand.

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For me I’d let the money control me. When I’d struck that deal with the universe I’d sold my soul. I’d relinquished my passion. Money was not serving me. It was controlling me. Money was the one in the driving seat, not me. How did I truly know this? Well the result revealed itself recently.

I bet you’re wondering how?

Well despite being a top sales person and being responsible for building a 7-figure business, I suffered (for the first time ever) an inability to do fee-paying work. I’d work for free, but if money were to cross my palms I’d literally run a mile. This meant I wasn’t charging for work, sending invoices once work was done and not even quoting when asked. As a hard-core salesperson this still makes me twitch! I clearly had a dire relationship issue with money!

The good news is, help arrived to resolve this and I’ll be sharing exactly how in part 2.

If you can’t wait until then, check out T.Harv Eker. He first introduced me to the concept of winning the money game and how it relates to why people can hate selling.

Now I want to hear from you…

Do you love or hate selling? What selling techniques can you recommend if you hate selling? What part of my story resonates with you? Have you tackled it at all? If so please leave me a comment in the box below.

P.S. If you know anyone who could benefit from this insight, take a second and send them a link to this post. You’ll be helping me… and THEM!

With love and gratitude – as always,



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Jane Frankland is a successful cyber security entrepreneur, consultant and speaker who has had a diverse career encompassing art and design; business development; and operations. Having held directorships and senior executive positions within her own companies and at several large PLCs, she now provides agile, forward thinking organisations with strategic business development solutions. Right now she is writing a book on gender diversity in cyber security and is focused on increasing the numbers of women in the profession.

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