Selling: the biggest myth in sales busted

The one thing no one tells you about selling

Selling and how to sell more by Jane Frankland
People buy from people, right?

Well, yes and no.

You heard me right!

Bar humbug. Buggery pollocks! [a pollock is a fish, wink, wink!]

Yep, you’ve been misled, but don’t feel bad. I was taught the same thing too about selling and it’s not all wrong.

You see, whilst people do buy from people they know, like and trust, there’s a little more to it than this. And, it affects every bit of sales and marketing work that you do.

So let’s be crystal clear…

When it comes to buying, this is not about you. The only reason anyone’s talking to you is to meet their own needs, wants and desires – to get their problems solved. It has nothing to do with you so don’t pamper your own ego for one more second.

Cue story…

Now that I’ve cleared that up, let’s pretend your name is Anna (sorry if you’re a bloke – just get into character). You love what you do, but you can’t seem to get enough clients in the door. You’re getting pe-ed off, you’re feeling discouraged AND you’re worried you might even need to quit this entrepreneurship ‘malarkey’ and go back to your job to make ends meet. The thought fills you with dread. You’re pursuing your passion for goodness sake!  You know people would chunner if you jacked it in. So you take action.

What do you do?

Well as you’re smart AND you know what you’re doing, you’d go back to basics first. You’d look at your ideal client avatar, your messaging and then how you’re selling. BUT [here it is…] You’d do so via a filter of emotional intelligence.

Let me explain…

Emotional intelligence

When I asked a group of entrepreneurs how they felt about the word selling and sales people recently, their answers didn’t come as a shock. They largely boiled down to this:

“It depends on how much I want what they’re selling. If I want it, and they know what they’re talking about and they’re not pushy, then I like the process and the people selling. However, if I’m not sure I want it, or they don’t know what they’re talking about, or they’re trying to push something on me, then I don’t like it (or them for that matter) at all.”

Their answers were judgemental, yet insightful as they revealed an emotional connection (or disconnection) between the buyer and vendor i.e.

  • Emotional desire (if it is what I want)
  • Intelligence (if they know that they’re talking about)
  • Emotional approach (if they’re not pushy)

They all required an emotional satisfaction filter and it’s this that’s the key to selling (and marketing for that matter). This is the one thing that no one teaches you:

[box]”People buy feelings, not people.” – Jane Frankland TWEET THIS[/box]

Furthermore, the more competitive an environment is, the more they need this; and the more apparent it becomes amongst the suppliers who aren’t providing it.

So, if you want more clients and sales, your task is simply to help your avatar feel emotions and to emotionally connect.

Now, there are lots of ways to do this and a tonne I could write about it here, so I’m going to have to tackle this in several blogs. Let’s look at an aspect of your sales copy here, which is essential if you’re selling online.

Video break

Sales copy

I was reading a blog by Ash Ambirge, from The Middle Finger Project the other day. That woman is smart! And, she talked about this in her blog – selling anything in one paragraph or less. She spoke about product descriptions and how they don’t help sell anything. She had a point. Aside from SEO I personally couldn’t see any value either, especially after she’d highlighted the obvious! Doh!

The first thing she talked about was building desire. Your prospect or client has to desperately want what you’re selling. And, one of the best ways to inspire the feeling in your avatar isn’t to describe the product; it’s to describe who they’ll become with the product.

You need to help them envision. Help them picture. Write the story! Empower them. Make them feel good. See J.Peterman for an example.

Sales relationships

There’s no denying that writing great copy builds an emotional connection with your avatar, but another way to do this is by building strong relationships with your prospects and clients face-to-face, or over the phone/Skype.

Using Anna as my muse, she used to think that the key to selling her products and services was by showing her clients what she knew and what she could do. In her early days of sales she’d go on and on about features and benefits. When she became wiser, she realised that her clients actually came (and stayed) with her on account of the relationships she’d built with them. They’d come to feel comfortable with her as a person. She made them feel good about interacting with her. And, she’d mastered emotional intelligence to do this.

Now I want to hear from you…

Do you use emotional selling techniques at all?  What selling techniques can you recommend? What part of Anna’s story resonates with you? Have you tackled it at all? If so please leave me a comment in the box below.

P.S. If you know anyone who could benefit from this insight, take a second and send them a link to this post. You’ll be helping me… and THEM!

With love and gratitude – as always,



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Jane Frankland is a successful cyber security entrepreneur, consultant and speaker who has had a diverse career encompassing art and design; business development; and operations. Having held directorships and senior executive positions within her own companies and at several large PLCs, she now provides agile, forward thinking organisations with strategic business development solutions. Right now she is writing a book on gender diversity in cyber security and is focused on increasing the numbers of women in the profession.

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